The phrase ‘not in front of the children’ scarcely applies any more when so many young lives witness extreme violence and war, family disintegration, parents dying from disease and neglect, the effects of poverty and injustice. The children look on, their eyes wide, internalising what they see. Interpreting and making decisions about the way they will view the world. In a sometimes graphic article, Interact learns more about working with children who have seen real-life nightmares.
In Kenya there’s one group of children-at-risk whose numbers have grown faster than anyone could have predicted at the end of last year. The violence that followed last December’s elections left more than 1,300 people dead, caused 500,000 to flee their homes, and devastated farms in the fertile Rift Valley Province.
Disorientation and despair
Pavement Project partners Joy Divine have welcomed thirty internally displaced boys to their small home in Nairobi. The decision to reach out this hand of hope meant that their operation doubled in size in the space of a few weeks. But their intervention is allowing a whole class of Year 8 boys to complete a crucial year of their education. It has also given the children a level of holistic care they would be unlikely to receive in the large internal displacement camps: reliable food supplies, safe shelter, access to school, Christian fellowship, mentoring and the opportunity to work through what has happened.
In a session using the Picture Me counselling process with a Pavement Project worker, Sammy* shared his worst memory:
“When my village was attacked early this year, I saw my neighbour being slaughtered with a panga (a large knife). Her head was cut off and they threw her body into the river. Then they took her head and put it on an arrow and stuck it on the fence and left it there …I could see everything that was happening because I was hiding in the maize field …I wanted to get away but my father kept telling me to stay and that I had to be very quiet. I wanted to run but I stayed there just praying and praying …I was frightened. Very, very frightened. Then we saw our own house being torched. They used paraffin and petrol and there was a big explosion …Later the police came and took the people without homes to the police station and then on to the big camp.
Sammy is twelve.
Later in the session he drew a picture of his cousin, who also experienced the violence in Eldoret. He told the worker, “He is crying because he is seeing people being killed. Later he saw the skeletons after they’d been burnt.” Drawing and sharing his story allowed the deep feelings linked with the trauma to resurface. The one-on-one time which followed gave Sammy a protected space to express and reconnect with the emotions of shock and fear that were part of his reality. During the counselling process he identified very vividly with the story of another child who had gone through a similar trauma, picking up a powerful black and white drawing showing the emotion of fear and holding it for a long time.
Welcoming hands
Thirteen year old Danvas had also witnessed behaviour he didn’t understand. He described, “The worst thing that happened was seeing the houses of the neighbours burn when the Kalenjins attacked. I wanted then to stop doing it. I was thinking, ′Why are they doing this to my neighbours’ house? ́’ I saw my teacher running away from school. Then my mother said, ‛We have to leave this area. Tomorrow they will come.’ ”
Both Sammy and Danvas responded positively to carefully chosen Bible stories which addressed the emotions of fear, anger and deep hurt that they had experienced. The worker then created space for the boys to begin applying the Bible’s life words to their own situation using the Pocket Cards resource (which combines the Bible’s words of rescue and comfort with soft black and white illustrations symbolising God’s care and protection). Both boys selected the “welcoming hands” Pocket Card, and took away the promise, “Come to me, all of you who are tired and carry heavy loads. I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11.28).
One of the strength’s of Pavement Project is that partner organisations work with children with whom they will have ongoing contact, and who are already experiencing a modelling of God’s love and care through the material provision and services which they receive through the project and, most importantly, through the attitude of its workers. Although a lot can happen in a single Picture Me session, there is no pressure or expectation that the care the worker offers the child will be confined to a one-off sharing. Many workers begin a journey with a child that continues for months or even years.
A network of support
A new group of potential workers, from projects similar to Joy Divine, benefited from a Pavement Project Worker Training Wokshop in Nairobi in August 2008. Trainers Clara Ngobolia and Joanna Wakia worked experientially with the group over five days, and at the end of the week ten workers received their probationary certificate as Picture Me workers. Over the coming year they will receive further support and input, as they join the network of Kenyan Pavement Project workers now developing in Kisumu, Nakuru, Eldoret, Mombasa and Nairobi. Further afield, eleven workers have been trained in Uganda; in Tanzania the Safina Street Network now has trained workers in Dodoma, Iringa and Singida; and following the Nairobi training, there is a new worker returning to Harare, Zimbabwe. As Pavement Project develops in Africa, the next stage of the work will be to train and equip a team of Facilitators who will provide ongoing peer support and mentoring.
“Power-full” healing
Enthusiasm for this professional growth and development is high. During the Nairobi training participant Phidiliah Wali reflected, “I can give the children food, clothes and shelter but at the moment I don’t know how to give them the Word of God. This is exactly what I needed on top of what I had.” Meanwhile Teresia Nyaga, observing a colleague using resources carried in the distinctive big green bag to help a child rebuild their self-esteem after experiencing family separation exclaimed, “This bag is power-full!” Carol Maibvisira told the training team, “I would like everyone in my organisation to learn to use [the Picture Me process contained in] the green bag. It’s a process that is easy to use when you’ve learnt but it does so much! In African culture we tell stories as a present. So this tool fits really well and can have such an impact.”
The participants on the Nairobi course are a representative cross-section of the front line children-at-risk workers that Pavement Project trains. Their high levels of commitment, empathy and demonstrable care for the children and young people they meet mean they are well placed to build even deeper relationships of trust. As children experience that safety and respect, in tandem with a proven professional process, they can begin to entrust their memories of the events they have witnessed, the words which have been spoken over them, and the stories which have shaped their lives. As these memories are held and respected, a window is opened to offer God’s story. A story of hope, of restoration and of a world re-imagined through encounter with God’s loving compassion.
Pavement Project is part of SGM Lifewords’ work helping people and communities-in-need to find life-transforming connections with the Bible.
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*Names have been changed in line with SGM Lifewords’ child protection policy.